All joking aside, everything here is actually normal. Or rather, the new normal as I like to call it. I know I’ve disappeared for a bit and maybe had a few folks worried. Honestly, it took a lot longer to get here than I expected. I had to shift a few things around - okay, what felt like a lot of things to me. And then keep shifting things around in order for everything/one to fit, albeit in a squished fashion. In the Before Life, it was a “clown car” scenario with faces smushed up against the windshield. But now, we are all much more comfortable in one of those old-timey VW buses, complete with curtains on the windows. Someday I’ll get upgraded into one of those touring buses that country music stars travel in, complete with satellite tv. Hopes and dreams.
On the path of the normal, there are somethings that are / have been / will be harder to shift, like the job. There is also certain amount of sleep that I need in order to function, which is different from the amount of sleep that I need in order to be nice to people. And trust me, you and I both prefer the version of me who is nice to people.
But that’s also normal, the constant shifting and turning of things and also being brutally honest with myself about what I can and cannot handle / do / process. I can’t forget, I have help too if I want it. And I’ve been having fun along the way (and I’m about to have a lot more). Some of it, even the fun parts, have been a bit of a shove outside of my comfort zone. Those moments of discomfort are tempered by remembering the necessity of those parts of life, for me, to keep from stagnating and fighting the lifelong battle against ennui.
So, it’s normal, for now, until it changes again. And that’ll be normal too.