Over the last few months I have had quite a few thoughts about adult riders, particularly after reading about the variety of different riding experiences that all you horse bloggers have.  Some of y’all show on a weekly basis and I am constantly amazed at your level of energy and dedication.  Some of y’all train your own green horses on your own property and I am constantly amazed at your level of energy and dedication.  Some of y'all handle injuries, hauling, feeding, etc all on your own and I am constantly amazed at your level of energy and dedication.

My own evolution as an adult rider and horse owner has been over the course of 15 years after I picked up riding again in college.  I started out as an adult rider taking weekly lessons, getting an introduction into hunter/jumper land, and following that schedule for almost ten years.  When I moved to Dallas and ended up working and living near an equestrian center, I found my current trainer and started half leasing one of her horses.  That turned into the purchase of Ryon, my first horse, and you could find me out at the barn training / riding 4-5x per week.  Now I’m on my second horse, Mae, and since we got a puppy, I’m out at the barn riding 3x per week.  I don’t lesson quite as frequently anymore, I’ve written about it before, but to summarize, adult obligations, work, travel, blah blah blah.

There are less than a handful of other adults who take lessons from my trainer.  We’re a rare breed at our barn - the adult rider that enjoys riding but doesn’t want to or plan on showing for many different reasons.

There is one adult rider in the program who along with his wife bought their first horses together less than a year ago.  One week, he had a jump lesson scheduled, however his horse was consistently spooking hard on one side of the ring, every time he walked, trotted, cantered by.  Instead of schooling the course with his wife as he expected to, his lesson instead was focused on walking by the spook site calmly and quietly, which eventually happened toward the end of the hour lesson with much coercion, treats, and a crop.

Afterward, the rider was extremely dejected.  When we chatted about it, his biggest disappointment was that it was a waste of a lesson.  Instead of making progress, they were regressing and falling back.  Despite taking lessons or not, showing or not, one common theme among us adult riders is that we want to make progress or see progress being made, either in ourselves as riders or in our horses.  It’s about doing everything perfect and just right as a rider and then expecting the associated result on the horse’s side (or vice versa).

But since when is progression in anything in life ever linear?  I can count on one hand the number of real life scenarios where X level of effort plus Y level of practice has directly resulted in Z desired outcome.  In practicality, progression looks more like a game of Chutes & Ladders. 

Riding for adults is mostly mental.  Yes, it’s about being physically able and fit, however most of the hurdles that I’ve heard adult riders talk about are mental ones.  There is a lot of disappointment around being frustrated, scared, insecure, and angry.  It’s understanding that horses are sensitive and can/will pick up on your mental state - if you’re stressed, anxious, frazzled.  They feed off of those emotions as well as your confidence and strength.

Back to the failed lesson, the rider may not have jumped anything that time or worked on lengthening / shortening strides, etc.  However, his horse learned how to approach a scary thing calmly and to fight his instinct to run away from it.  They both learned to trust each other.  The rider learned to change his expectations and to be fluid in his plans.  He also learned how to redirect his energy and mental state in a more positive direction.

Riding is about all of those things.  It’s not only about who can look the prettiest,  jump the highest, or run the fastest.  It’s about the partnership and connection that you develop.  It’s about problem-solving in a way that you didn’t expect.  It’s about knowing when to have patience and when to ask for more immediately.  And more generally, it’s a gentle lesson about how life is full of setbacks and disappointments and living is about how you handle them.  For me that’s the crux of being an adult rider.  Lesson programs and showing set up a framework with which to accomplish those objectives, but it isn’t the only way of learning, progressing, failing, and growing.  Riding in itself is a challenge that isn’t a simple equation of X + Y = Z and that’s what makes it such a proxy to real life.

As in many other parts of the States, here in Texas we have completely skipped spring and headed into the deep end of summer.  Everything got green and bloomed in a hurry and now there’s pollen, pollen everywhere.  My eyes and nose immediately itch when I step out the door.  In fact, everything itches.  The dog dropped a bully stick covered in fire ants inside the house.  After a moment of sheer panic (I’m violently allergic to fire ant bites), I grabbed paper towels and managed to eradicate the problem without getting bitten.  However now there are fire ants crawling along the baseboards in our house.  In Texas, regardless of where you live, It’s a constant battle keeping them out of the house in the summertime.  If there was ever an argument for me getting LASIK, it’s so I can always spot the bugs.

Small dog in a big field

Next week we’ll be solidly in the 90s for the entire week, a swift and tough transition for us all.  After each of Bowie’s walks outside, he plops down face first in his water dish and drinks like a camel, which results in frequent potty breaks afterward.  The horses are sweating (luckily) and riding in the afternoon is starting to get brutal.  We are supplementing Mae’s diet with electrolytes (Apple A Day) and alfalfa hay, which gave her an extra burst of energy for ~3 days.  Now she’s back to ho-humming along and even then, works up quite a sweat during our hack sessions.  Mae drank out straight out of the hose for the first time this past weekend, a sure sign that it’s hot and summer is here.

At the grocery store, Bluebell’s Red White and Blue ice cream is in stock again.  I also bought a bag of frozen mango chunks, which are a vital snack when the heat gets to be too much.  Hovering over a hot stove is so six months ago; there are going to be a lot of salads in our future.  The postage stamp-sized swimming pool at our complex is packed to the gills on the weekend - you’ll find Texans trying to live in water for the next four months.  I’ve got it in my head to try this cookies and cream key lime ice cream recipe - maybe this weekend.

My summer reading list at the library continues to grow longer.  Some of the books on the list include: Those who leave and those who stay by Elena Ferrante, The Afterlives by Thomas Pierce, and Transoceanic Lights by S. Li.  Anything y’all recommend for summer reading?

We don’t have any summer vacations planned so far, but my sister and her boyfriend will be visiting in June.  I really ought to get something on the calendar before the rest of the year gets away from us, like last year.  What are your summer plans?  Do they include staying in the shade and sitting in the sprinklers or journeying off to some far off exotic locales?  Or maybe just sweating a ton, like me.

Kindred Milk Bread recipe

Isn’t there something so utterly comforting about baking bread?  The yeasty aroma makes everything else fade into the background and gently places you in the here-and-now-and-why-is-the-bread-not-done-baking-yet.  Kindred’s Milk Bread is a brioche-like bread but saltier and the best eaten fresh out of the oven when it’s piping hot and just sprinkled with flakes of salt.  Each batch in the recipe gives you two loaves - one for sharing and one for yourself.  Or both for yourself, whatever there’s no judgment here.  I remember when I was on a low-carb style diet - thank goodness those days are over.  These loaves never last longer than a week in our house.

Bookish: The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Reid and Pachinko by Min Lee

These were two of my favourite books that I read in April.  The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo is about Evelyn Hugo an aged actress and celebrity whose seven marriages during her lifetime were shrouded in mystery and surrounded by gossip.  Hugo hires a writer schlepping away at a fashion magazine to record her biography and finally give the world the tell-all they’ve been clamouring for all these decades.  As is the way with many things in life, appearances are deceiving and Evelyn Hugo’s life was never as it appeared to the public.  Pachinko is the story of generations of a Korean family who end up Japan in the early 1900s.  Having read many other versions of familial-saga type tales - One Hundred Years of Solitude, The Poisonwood Bible - reading one about a displaced Asian family was refreshing and relatable.  I highly recommend both of them as additions to your summer (!) reading list.


Thrifted J. Crew Blythe blouse for less than $20

Every turn of the season, I am ashamed of the clothes that I stack into bags, headed off for donation.  Admittedly, that stack has gotten smaller as I’ve gotten older but I still can’t explain the logic behind clothing waste.  I very rarely buy trendy pieces and discard them after one wear, but it’s quite easy to do when you’re running through the aisles of Target, on the way to pick up some shampoo or floor cleaner.  Purchasing a thrifted article of clothing seems to make a lot more sense to me and you can easily find things in basically new or brand new condition online.  Currently, I’ve been making work wardrobe purchases off Poshmark and no longer feel guilty about spending a much smaller amount of money on clothes that I wear to work.

Screengrab from Joy the Baker's blog

Joy the Baker’s Let it be Sunday lists

Joy’s blog, if you’ve never visited it, is so colourful and her recipes always look damn delicious.  One of my favourite things she does is her end of the week lists (and I do love myself a good list).  There’s a multitude of different topics she’ll cover - be it recipes she’s found from other blogs or cookbooks, articles / podcasts she’s enjoyed, events she’s attended, etc etc.  I’ll typically leave it for Monday morning and it’s one of my favourite things to look forward to when I get back into the office from the weekend.

What have been your favourite things this spring?  I’d love to hear.

Why aren't we playing at 530 am??

When your time is not your own, all sense of self-care goes out the window - you’re always covered in horse and dog hair, your lower back is sore from stooping over all the time, and you’re not sure - even now - if you’re awake or asleep.

You squeeze in errands - grocery shopping, Target run, horse hack -  between shorter and shorter puppy naps.  You leave the house, cringing at the sound of whining and barking and hope that the neighbors aren’t home.  You can’t get more than five pages into a book before the inquisitive pup wants to know what are you reading, why are you sitting so still, why can’t I eat it?  You start speeding through your shower routine - even faster than the “navy” shower in the cabin in the woods.

Your alarm clock goes off an ungodly hour and sometimes you wake up even before that time because someone is raring to go at 5 am, bouncing off the walls of his crate.  You live for the occasional nights where he sleeps through it all.  You no longer care what pajamas the neighbors have seen you wearing outside in your yard.  They all have holes in them from sharp puppy teeth anyway.

The kitchen, which used to be your zen spot of the house, is now a battlefield where the dog, who has all of a sudden gotten bouncy, tries to climb the cabinets.  Or the dishwasher.  Or the fridge where you keep tasty baby carrot snacks.  Suddenly, the slow cooker is your best friend again.

When Bryan is out of town, you make jokes with your friends about single pet parenting but secretly cry on the inside. 



When your time is not your own, people - all the darling people - come out of the woodwork and help.

Your kind-hearted neighbor comes over in the mornings while you’re at work, brings over his Frenchie, and gives your pup a potty break as well as a play date.  He texts you updates on how Bowie’s doing - all as a favor and because he loves Bowie.

Your coworkers and family bring you gifts of chew toys and dog treats.  They know that it’s only a matter of time before the puppy teeth find something they’re not supposed to, so keep stuffing his mouth full of toys.  They recommend vets, commiserate about lack of sleep and abundance of mess, and keep reassuring you that “it’ll get better as they get older.”

Your boyfriend laughs as he helps you clean up the bottle of sriracha that you dropped and exploded ALL over the kitchen.  You both find tiny specks of red throughout the kitchen for days afterward.  He listens to you sob after you’ve spent a rainy Saturday spent cooped up inside with the tiny terror, while he’s working on the sunny beaches of Mexico.  He takes the pup to the park at 7:30 am before his work trips because he knows that you won’t be able to after work and the dog will be insane if he’s cooped up all day.

Your trainer is a lifesaver and continues to work her magic on your best girl Mae, excusing the fact that you haven’t been able to attend a lesson in weeks, and arranges a dog party for her three and your one.

And coffee… coffee gives you life when your time is not your own.

Am I awake?  Am I still asleep?  I've spent the last 1.5 weeks in a daze.  You'd think I'd learn to take a nap with the dog does but my body stubbornly refuses to learn that lesson.  Whereas Bryan's been able to stay home and nap with the dog, alas I'm back at work and desperately fighting to keep my eyes open.  I'm jealous that they get to pal around while I sit and stare blankly in front of a computer screen.

If I had things my way (particularly in my delirious state), I'd choose an early retirement to this ranch just north of Austin, Texas.  Set on 28 acres, there is a 3 br / 2.5 ba main house, separate living space over the garage, and also a 1000 sq ft cottage on property - enough space for you and your extended family / friends to stay awhile.  The house is fine, pet friendly, and very Hill Country with its limestone, but what really sold me on this property was the land and outbuildings.  There are so many trees around the very nice, new five stall horse barn with turnouts.  The property also backs up to the Lampasas River and has a hay meadow and creek running through it.  Could you maybe even start a business at home with horse boarding and dog sitting?  Or running an Airbnb out of the cottage?

Even though Leah of Confessions of a Dressage Barbie makes keeping her herd of ponies (and goats) at home look easy, I know it's not all that it's cracked out to be, especially since it's about to get blazing hot here in Texas.  Plus snakes.  And mosquitoes.  And fire ants (which I've already been attacked by in my home).  But how fun would it be to have a gang of horses and dogs running around outside, trailing on the property, and taking a cool dip in the river when it gets too hot out?  Or is keeping your animals at home not all that it's cracked up to be?

A girl continues to dream...

My mornings have always been imbued with a sense of calm and quiet, the deep breath before the chaos of the day.  It’s my time to ruminate and plan, the creative juices flowing just as the sun starts to rise.  I keep a pen and notebook on hand for these occasions.  Coffee is also a must, preferably espresso but anything will do.  Silence rules the morning, there’s plenty of time for talking throughout the rest of the day.

Now my mornings are filled with the sharp commands of “leave it!” or “no biting!” and carefully dancing around to make sure I don’t truck over a small body.  My pajama bottoms have tiny little holes, and my bedroom slippers have been banished to the hall closet.  There’s no easing into the day - the day jumps on your lap and greets you with all its energy and excitement.  Yes, another day for playing and for naps! but sadly not for me.

As I had hinted in my previous post, we added a new furry family member last Friday - meet Bowie everybody. 


His name is pronounced “Booey” and he’s named after Jim Bowie, defender of the Alamo.  He is a German Shorthaired Pointer and we picked him up from a breeder two hours south of Dallas who had a litter of eleven puppies (!).  We chose him because he was the pup who kept coming back to check us out over and over again, even though we were outside with plenty of distractions.  Bowie is in training (and I use the word “training” lightly) to be Bryan’s hunting buddy when he’s a bit bigger.  Currently he’s 8 weeks old, 11 lbs, and fully-grown will be between 55 - 70 lbs.


Every dog owner warns you - prior to getting a puppy - that you’re going to be sleep deprived, which is absolutely true.  The only thing that has saved our sanity so far is that we immediately started Bowie on a crate training schedule.  After waking up four times the first night, he usually only wakes up once a night to use the potty.  We have taught him to sit, stay, lay down, come here, and he’s also learning how to walk nicely on a leash.  Luckily Bryan is home for a few more days so he’s able to spend all day working with Bowie and getting him used to his new schedule.

Bowie’s favourite things are his squirrel toy, sticks, testing his boundaries, and sleeping on warm laps.  He hates when we take away his bed when he’s chewing on it, cold weather, being told “leave it” or “off”, and when we ignore his pleas to play at 4 am.

Watching TV together

I know a lot of you are pup owners and have more experience than I do so if you have any tips / tricks / things you like, please feel free to share them. 

Spring weather in Texas is always absurd in March and April.  Is it hot, is it cold?  Blankets on at night but then whipped off in the morning.  Flies and mosquitoes are starting to swarm while we’re still wearing light jackets, so it’s time to dig out the fly sheets again. 

Trail System / Poor Tecate's face is covered with bug bites from the turnout

In March, I did hit the trail for the first time in a very long time - not on Mae but on Tecate, the little chestnut quarab that we have at our barn.  He’s a brave little guy who was game to canter down the long stretches and jump fallen trees - really he’ll jump anything you point him at.  Sadly, Tecate is up for sale but I’m excited to see where he goes.  He’s going to win some rider a ton of ribbons, this is the same horse who won reserve champion at his first jumper show ever with a 13 year-old rider.

Can't stop laughing when I jump with Tecate

Because of all the traveling we did at the end of the month, I didn’t end up doing a ton of lessons in March but on the plus side, Mae spent a lot of time with my trainer.  We had our first jump lesson of the month last night and I was a bit anxious, as its been awhile since we’ve jumped together and you all remember that rodeo.  We did a quick, light warm up during which Mae was super lazy and relaxed (off to a good start).  To summarize the lesson in a word: WOW.  It was like riding a different horse. 

We started by trotting a respectable crossrail, which I eyed warily but she hopped over like it was no big deal.  It was the first moment EVER that I thought “maybe this horse has finally started to figure out this whole jumping thing.”  After trotting over it a few times, my trainer asked - why don’t you canter her over the jump? which we’ve only done once before as she tends to build on the energy of the canter and rocket off.  You guys, it was absolutely lovely.  She held a very nice, consistent canter that she kept up to the fence, and on the backend she didn’t run off like she has been.  After the jump, I held the outside rein back for a two count, released and it’s like her brain caught the cue and she immediately slowed her pace to back to the nice canter she had before the fence.  We ended up cantering and jumping a five jump course - all verticals including a line.  She came back to me every time I asked her to, and I didn’t ever feel like we were out of control.

We think there are a few keys to Mae's success this past month.  Firstly, the gag bit is working-ish, especially when I remember to keep my hands up.  It doesn’t really help with steering, but she listens to its cues and respects it more than she did the regular snaffle.  Secondly, my trainer said she’s been working gymnastics with her constantly and that’s really what’s made the biggest difference with her jumping.  Her form over fences still needs some work, but I love that she’s soft and adjustable on the flat.  We earned a round of applause and high fives after the lesson, and I’m so glad I didn’t quit on her prospects as a jumper.  She’s a little jumping bean now and everyone is excited to see how this mare progresses.

Mae is still continuing to fill out (I recently bought her a new girth) and I want to attribute part of that to the flaxseed we started her on two months ago.  Since we put her on it, her coat has gotten incredibly shiny and soft, and she’s been able to keep weight on and seen a noticeable increase of muscle in her hindquarters.  The 20 lb bag of Omega Horseshine that I ordered initially should last us at least another month, however I’ve already ordered another bag off SmartPak.  My trainer saw how well Mae was responding to it and has put all five of her horses on organic flaxseed that she finds at Sprouts.  It’s supposedly cheaper there but I haven’t confirmed it yet.

I’m very happy with Miss Mae and have so many thoughts about her volatile progress in the past year.  She turns six in a week and I’m finally optimistic about the grown horse that she’s turning into.