A heavy one

It's been a heavy week.  We received a devastating health diagnosis about one of my first four-legged friends and it felt like the rest of the week was spent trying to heave off the heavy blanket that that left on my shoulders.  I've spent a lot of blog space writing about the impact that our animals have on our lives - both the good and the bad - and if that isn't a microcosm of what our human lives are about, I don't know what more apt example there is.  All of this is to say, sometimes it seems like there is a lot more heaviness than levity.  And sometimes it feels like the hits keep on coming, as it has felt like to me the older I've gotten.  The bad / sad news overshadows any good and then any minor inconvenience feels like like my entire world is breaking apart.

When my dad first had his stroke almost exactly five years ago, I was advised to take each day at a time and in order to keep things manageable from a triage perspective, I didn't look forward any further than that.  The more time that has passed from that event and the more we've reached a sort of plateau with my dad's health and mental state, the more weight has slowly shifted off my back but I've still kept my timetable contained to the near-term because that's how I was and have been able to cope.

I think (after half a decade like this) that it's time to look forward, at least further than the next few weeks.  Looking at time in only bite sized pieces has kept both hope and despair at bay.  But I know there's going to be time and room for both of those things whether I admit it or not and it's doing a disservice to myself.  

So this is a reminder to me to ride the wave, through the trough and the crest, because that doesn't stop.  This blue marble keeps turning and turning.

**And because there should be some levity to this post, I did have to spend 5 minutes looking up the difference between "further" and "farther."  Ahhh nemesis, thy name is grammar.