The Lonely Hearts Club

Society6

Members of the Lonely Hearts Club walk among us, dressed up in an array of disguises.  You’ve probably run into them checking out at the grocery store, on the treadmill next to you at the gym, out to dinner with their families and on romantical dates.  They may be surrounded by people, dancing or laughing, or sitting alone.  Members of the Lonely Hearts Club don’t announce themselves as members.  There’s no special identifier, like a button you receive for going ‘90 days alone and still holding it together’ or even a cheaply laminated membership card.  They very rarely know each other when they meet; their membership is always hidden but flickering just beneath the surface.

Most of them are not not proud to be members.  It’s frightening to go home to an empty house / apartment / room with only long, dark shadows to welcome you home.  I imagine it’s even more frightening to go back to a full house and still have that emptiness and loneliness that can’t be filled by the people who love and surround you.  The Lonely Hearts Club members look forward to the day when they can revoke their membership and join the dappled sunshine-y world on the other side.

Fellow members, do not be afraid.  Do not feel (too) sad.  Most importantly, do not ever, ever feel alone.  You are most definitely not alone - there’s a whole club of people that you belong to.  Scattered around the world, in different time zones yet living right next door.  If you ever want to have a chapter meeting, sound the alarm.  I’ll bring the snacks.


Comments

  1. As long as you bring peanut butter cups, I'll be there. I love this post so much. Things just happen sometimes and they can't be helped, but suddenly you find yourself cut adrift from the rest of humanity - unable to talk about it or relate to anyone. It's good to know there's a club for when that sort of thing happens.xx

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  2. Can a non-member of the lonely hearts club join? I promise to bring ample quantities of wine? :)

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  3. oh, what a sweet post. but I wonder, does not being in a relationship really mean you have to be lonely? can't it be ok to just be with yourself for a while? there is so much pressure to be in a relationship even though we can all life alone if we want to (financially, etc...)

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  4. I think everyone feels like that from time to time. You know I have all my fingers and toes crossed for you but if I can do anything else, you know where to find me!!

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  5. That's right, you're never alone!

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  6. I was a member of this club for a long time...and now, looking back, what you said is all true. One is never really alone in the The Lonely Hearts Club.:)

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  7. Such a lovely post, Rooth! I think most of us have had membership at one time or another (and those of us who haven't should not be smug--it's a rather sneaky society. You never know when you'll be slapped with a member's pass).

    I'll bring the chocolate peanut butter ice cream.

    *I must say, I'm liking the lonely hearts band

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  8. As a former member, I would also add: try to enjoy your membership now, for eventually you will pair up with the fellow member meant for you. :-)

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  9. I would say 'I'm so sorry!' but it doesn't sound like you need sympathy. You have a good head on your shoulders and you're handling being a card carrying member with grace! I will say, no one ever has a life-time membership to the club! It's like Carrie Bradshaw said: "“But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself"

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  10. Can I join, too, if I bring good books and some chocolate? I was a member for a very long time and, I have to say, it's not all that bad in retrospect. :)

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  11. I embraced my single 20s, as I lived in Taipei for 2 years, making friends with the locals and my coworkers. It's a time to find who you are, so cliche, but so true. I didn't know what I was looking for, until I really thought about in my 20s. Glad I took that time b/c I think I am with the person who really is my completion. (Plus, couple-hood, marriage, kids, sometimes ain't all it's cracked up to be. Grass is always greener on the other side)

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  12. Yes, we're an entire nation on our own! Let's live in faith and hope that it won't always be this way.

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  13. I think people in relationships can still feel very lonely.

    I feel like I have a lot of eggs in one basket...and I'd like more friends.

    7% Solution​

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  14. I concur with Emmy, homestilo and aki!. :)

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  15. Thanks for this sweet post. It's easy to forget that someone else out there is probably going through the exact same thing as you, even if you do feel lonely.

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  16. What a nice perspective on a very member-heavy club :)

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  17. This is a really moving post, Rooth. I think the thing that struck me most was the part about how it must be worse for the people who are coming home to a full house and who are still members of the Lonely Hearts Club. I have a dear friend in this situation and my heart breaks for her everyday.

    And Erin's right. Work on your relationship with yourself first. The rest will fall into place.

    Lauren @ still + life

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  18. Awwwwww! I wanna hug you. Thank you for saying those words. I feel like you know me so well hahaha!

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