Battlefield Pie



The aroma of apple pie wafts through the warrior princess's cave.  She lowers her spear and her head, defeated.

Minutes earlier...

The battlefield is strewn with desiccated, crumbling crust pieces.  My forehead is dotted with sweat.  The rolling pin crashes onto the table top.  A fine cloud of flour billows up from the wreckage - it's gotten everywhere, unbelievably.  There's a grimace, teeth gritted together, and curses held back.

The filling waits quietly by the wayside, permeating the air with the scent of molasses.  It's fermenting, the smell of sugar, apples, cinnamon and nutmeg becoming more heady.

The tale of my ongoing war with pie has been documented in multiple places, notably here.  I've been largely unsuccessful, spectacularly so.  My pies are undoubtedly the ugliest creatures in all of baking creation.  They may taste wonderful but who wants to eat something that looks like a pastry crater?  Okay maybe the entire pie gets eaten anyway, but not without some skeptical poking around first.

Present...

The warrior princess licks her wounds and sets about sharpening her spear once again.  Despite the defeat, she continues in readiness, to live to fight another day.  To fight the good fight.


Comments

  1. I don't know. That pie crust looks pretty damn good to me. I like a crust with some "character", haha.

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  2. Have you tried a crumb topping? Much easier and tastier!

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  3. It's worth fighting for, Rooth....

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  4. My pies have never looked pretty either hahaha but taste is more important!!!

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  5. Hahaha I can relate, every time I bake it looks like a disaster!!! But this photo of the pie actually looks really tasty!

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  6. lol, I'd love to eat your pie. no poking either :)

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  7. It looks good to me but I don't eat pie so I'm probably not one to judge. Have you ever tried those Cooks Illustrated people on PBS? As far as I can tell their recipes always work, you just may need 19 new kitchen gadgets and a whole day to make things.

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  8. Some things are worth the fight. Stay strong brave pilgrim!

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  9. Pastry crater?! Lol. I think it looks absolutely delish.

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  10. Well, I'm on a pie kick too, and it's tricky. Where do you think it's falling down for you? Let's chat. (This looks delish. :) )

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  11. I agree with Petra, but no promises about the poking. That's part of the fun. I think it looks very tasty!
    Now I understand why the local pie shop charges $25 for an apple pie. Bakers are crazy! :D
    Happy Tuesday!

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  12. Haha, your warrior princess :P I am truly a fan
    of your writings! And your pie looks lovely!
    I mean I prefer taste over look anyways :P Xx

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  13. Haha, honestly, I don't care how an apple pie looks, it just has to taste good and I am sure yours does!

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  14. that sounds like my cooking adventures--except mine aren't edible usually! hehe. love the description!

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  15. i used to really get the whole 'easy as pie' thing. i thought pie and pie crust was pretty darn simple. maybe i'd just seen my grandmother do it so many time it seeped in. but now . . . GF pie crust? nightmare. i just buy frozen from whole foods for like a million dollars because i have honestly shed a tear or two trying to make that darn GF pie crust (not yummy or pretty).

    but really as long as it tastes good! pies don't last long enough around here to admire anyway. hopefully someday i will get it!

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  16. oh my goodness! your pie looks delicious to me. gosh, i can't wait till it finally starts to feel like fall here. am i right or am i right?

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  17. This makes me hungry.

    the-renaissance-of-inner-fashion.blogspot.co.uk

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