Done bouncing

Society6

I’ve been in a ping-pong ball in 2017.  I’ve had more than one moment where I’m stuck in a metal tube on the way from one place to another place, breathing recycled air and wondering how many people have squatted in this same seat, anxiously waiting to just Get There.  After finally Getting There, it then gets flipped around to excited anticipation of Coming Back - lather, rinse, repeat.  So it is that this year, any moments without movement, I wish I could say I’ve spent chewing on the end of a pen and brainstorming short story ideas or putting together a Plan for the Year or even updating my resume.  Instead, because chewing on the end of a pen is gross, I’ve been sleeping instead.

Sleeping like a rock has been easy to do, lately.  Even with the window open and a storm banging around outside, dropping the temperature twenty degrees in one night.  Even with the emergency landing with oxygen masks that B had to execute earlier this week that would have left me wobbly in the knees (everyone is okay and they handled the incident like the cool, calm professionals they are).  Even with medical emergency after medical emergency with my extended family and someone ending up in the hospital because of heart issues every other month.

I had an overnight in Houston last month and instead of visiting the friends and familiar haunts, I went to bed at 4:30 pm and slept soundly until the next morning.  During my week long stay in London, instead of enjoying the briefly sunny and warm-ish spring weather that they were having, catching up with people, and even journeying over to the Forbidden Planet, I slept with the blackout shades down.

There is not just a little guilt.  The missed personal connections with old friends, failing to take advantage of the pleasant weather while we still have it, skipped meals, etc.  However, feeling wholly rested / untired is similar to getting a new (albeit) temporary lease on life.  It’s what I need to feel mentally prepared to take on the day and its challenges.  There’s certainly also the philosophy that you must take care of yourself so that you can take care of others.

So now you see me, sometimes you won’t.  Most likely, when you don’t, I’ll be buried in a pillow, trying to play catch up so I can feel like a normal person again.  Or as close to normal a person like myself can possibly be.