One Day At A Time

At this point, I'm not even sure what to say or do about this year.  On September 1st, my dad suffered a major stroke.  He is paralyzed on the left side of his body and has challenges with focus and balance.  He is relearning how to focus his mind, feed himself, and sit up in a chair.  Currently he's in an in-patient rehabilitation facility close to their home (around 30 - 45 minutes drive away from me).  The doctor is going to keep him at the rehab facility for at least a month and then we'll see what the next steps are toward his recovery.  We have been scrambling to manage the situation for the past 2+ weeks and have finally just settled into an uneasy "new normal" for now.

I've been updating a CaringBridge site on a daily basis in order to keep friends and family informed on the latest status.  My sister and her husband drove down from the northwest (they were on a road trip when they found out) and stayed a week.  They've gone back home to Oregon again but plan on returning with the two dogs in tow.  My mom has crippling anxiety and is working on trying to manage her sleep schedule.

There are quite a few silver linings that I've been able to find throughout this situation: 

1) My dad was still employed full-time (he was trying to retire this summer), so he has the best insurance which allows us to keep him at the rehab facility for such a long period of time

2) My aunt and uncle (dad's younger brother) live less than five minutes away from my parents' house and my aunt has been a godsend.  She goes to check on my mom daily and makes sure she is sleeping and well fed

3) Other than the stroke, my dad is healthy and has no pre-existing health conditions.  His main goal is to focus on recovery and rehabilitation.  We are also incredibly lucky that he can talk, although his vocal cords have also been affected by the stroke  

I wouldn't have been able to handle the situation without Bryan standing steadfastly by my side the entire time.  I'm grateful to have a partner who is always looking to help and has the sunniest attitude and disposition.  He keeps my mom laughing, despite everything, and makes sure that I take care of myself.  I have so many thoughts and "lessons learned" from going through this process and continuing to go through this process.  Hold your loved ones tight and prioritize your health.  And if you haven't done worst-case scenario planning for your elderly parents yet, please do.  Stay well all!

Comments

  1. Remember to look after yourself as well. Care for the caregivers. Virtual hug.

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  2. Oh my goodness, I am so sorry to hear this. Glad for all the silver linings and prayers for an uncomplicated recovery ♥️ your family is in my thoughts

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  3. I am so sorry!!! I can't imagine how tough it is to go through this at normal times, let alone These Times. Thinking of you!

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  4. That is so scary. I'm glad you have a good support system with your family. Im sending good thoughts that your dad recovers well.

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  5. I'm so sorry to hear this, Look after yourself.

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  7. Keeping my fingers crossed for your dad. Great to hear your aunt has been a godsend and that Bryan has been there for you. Thinking of you all.

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  8. OH MY that is a lot for you all. Hugs to your dad and mom and allof you. And I echo take care of yourself! We are trying to get my dad to move down here still. He fell yesterday trying to carry too much and use his cane (He is fine except for his pride, pretty sure he has teflon for bones). it is so hard to do this stuff long distance and even 45 minutes is far with this stuff. Please keep us updated. CaringBridge was a godsend when one of our associations past presidents was literally runover by a bike on a cruise outing last year in MEXICO no less. OMG she is doing great now but it was touch and go for a long time and it was so nice to be updated on that site. One thing I can suggest is maybe someone for your mom to talk to?? as in a therapist or something. Quite often people dont want to unburden on family members in times of stress. Just a thought!! thinking of you all!

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    1. The word "fall" is so frightening to me, especially now that both of my parents are on blood thinners. I'm glad your dad is okay. I would love for my mom to go see someone. Unfortunately she's part of the generation / culture that thinks that is nonsense. Luckily she has a really strong support system of friends - thank you for your advice. I think I've aged 20 years in the last three weeks

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  9. I am so sorry your family is going through this but I am happy that your dad has an amazing loving family and support system surrounding him. My thoughts are with you guys and I wish your dad a full, speedy, recovery or the best that can be managed.

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  10. (((HUGS)))) So sorry to hear about your dad, Ruth:( 2020 really is the worst. My hubby's dad also had a stroke...around end of July. So glad to hear though that your dad has no other health issues and that his insurance is great.
    XOXO

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    Replies
    1. Ugh what a year right? I hope your husband's dad is recovering well. My heart goes out to him and your family

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