- Do not buy / wear thong underwear. It's uncomfortable and doesn't allow freedom of motion - Relayed to me by my mother in the mall amongst a herd of tweens. I'll let you guess what shade of red my face turned
- You should wear brighter, vibrant, neon colours in the summertime - Before I went out to lunch with friends on the weekend from MY DAD. Someone has clearly been watching too much What Not to Wear with my mom
- Do not cut your hair. It's way too long and the longest that I've ever seen it but don't you dare cut it - Okay, so I honestly don't know what this one is all about but I've been forbidden to cut my hair. So when I start sitting on it, getting it caught in the car door and break my neck because of it, I'm blaming you, Mom
- Dry your hair immediately after you wash it or else you'll get headaches when you're older - Does anyone know if there is any merit to this?
- Do not sleep with the ceiling fan on because it'll make you sick / give you cancer - Air circulation is not allowed in my parents' house while you're sleeping. For the other 18 hours, it's fine. Just not while you're sleeping
- Don't eat too many sweets or cold things (same health / cancer argument) - Whilst plopping down a homemade tiramisu and bowl of cappuccino ice cream in front of me. This is hypocrisy at its best and worst. I can't figure out which it is yet...
Okay so the more I read these over, the more they sound like rules that my parents just made up and not necessarily advice. They end every piece of advice on health by quoting Dr. Oz because that gives it immediate legitimacy in their eyes. I can understand parts and pieces of their rules. But they really need to work on the packaging.