"No fear" or "my horse is a nut"

Sometimes, life throws you surprises.  On a bright, sunny, seemingly harmless day, you could be plodding along your merry way when something appears out of the corner of your eye that wasn’t there before.  It wasn’t there yesterday or the day before.  Alarm bells start clanging, jangling around in that big noggin of yours, and your heart races and breathing becomes faster.

Where did it come from and when did it get there?

Sure, you can jump about like a Nervous Nellie and get anxious about it.  Eye it suspiciously, turning your head from side to side, making sure you capture it with both eyes.  Fixate on it.  Ask yourself the same question over and over again.  Toss your head, toss your hair.  Toss your cookies.  Spin in circles.  Get excited, way too excited.

Where did this come from?  What is it?

This?  Oh it’s a coiled up, bright red garden hose.

I’m going to work up a sweat.  No, more of a lather, because it’s there.  When did it get there!?
You’re going to move it for me?  Thank you thank you move it for me.  Even after you move it for me, I might still anticipate it being there and have a mild conniption every time I turn the corner.  Is it gone?  Can I peek?

My dear, dear boy, things in life are going to appear, suddenly, out of nowhere, for reasons that you don’t know and cannot fathom.  Don’t be frozen into inaction due to fear.  Don’t whirl around in spirals, expending all of your energy because it happens.  You’ll exhaust the spit out of yourself (and everyone else around you).  And all over what?  A gardening implement.  Serenity and acceptance, it comes with age, wisdom and cooler weather, I hope.

Life lesson: Don’t fear the hose.


  1. You can apply that lesson in many aspects of life....:D

  2. Perhaps he thought it was a snake...or a giant bit of red licorice. Both things to be avoided. I'm really glad your inner cowboy kept you tall in the saddle throughout the freak out. Yay Rooth !!!

  3. You are surely one of the best writers ever. I just love your writing style. I mean it.

  4. Oh dude! What if it had been a snake? How was he to know without sending you to investigate?? To be fair, hoses and snakes share many of the same characteristics. I think he was just being smart! xo

  5. this was both hilarious and so, so sweet. life lessons. xo

  6. lol, brilliant :)

  7. Ryon sounds neurotic. ...we would probably get along.

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  8. Oh Ryon. Poor sweet neurotic Ryon. You'll be so good for him. And he for you, I imagine.

  9. Ahahaha! Poor fellow . . . this big old world is full of peril. I'll give him that.


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