Suck it in.  Hold your breath and don’t inhale.  Lay on the bed and wriggle like a snake.  Or an earthworm.

The struggle is real, folks.  I am trying, with all my might, to zip up the dress I bought for my office’s annual holiday party.  The theme is Casablanca (who really knows what that means) and the dress code is black tie-ish.  And foolishly, I bought a dress that is the same size the model was wearing online.  Even worse, the dress doesn't stretch.  The rest of it fits fine, except for the confounded side zipper, which sticks at the seam even without my trunk of a torso inside of it.  Typically, I don’t ever wish for a roommate or a boyfriend, but this is one of those instances where I could really use an extra set of hands.

You know that moment of panic when you can't zip in or you can't zip out of a dress?  Yeah, I've got that going on.  Somehow, everything starts to feel claustrophobic, like the world is closing in on you.  Or maybe just my chest area.

Besides going on a major diet for the next four weeks, any one have any suggestions of how to get myself into this thing?  A corset?  Removing a few ribs from my rib cage?  I'm all ears.