Zip it

Society6
Suck it in.  Hold your breath and don’t inhale.  Lay on the bed and wriggle like a snake.  Or an earthworm.

The struggle is real, folks.  I am trying, with all my might, to zip up the dress I bought for my office’s annual holiday party.  The theme is Casablanca (who really knows what that means) and the dress code is black tie-ish.  And foolishly, I bought a dress that is the same size the model was wearing online.  Even worse, the dress doesn't stretch.  The rest of it fits fine, except for the confounded side zipper, which sticks at the seam even without my trunk of a torso inside of it.  Typically, I don’t ever wish for a roommate or a boyfriend, but this is one of those instances where I could really use an extra set of hands.

You know that moment of panic when you can't zip in or you can't zip out of a dress?  Yeah, I've got that going on.  Somehow, everything starts to feel claustrophobic, like the world is closing in on you.  Or maybe just my chest area.

Besides going on a major diet for the next four weeks, any one have any suggestions of how to get myself into this thing?  A corset?  Removing a few ribs from my rib cage?  I'm all ears.


Comments

  1. Poor girl, are you still stuck in the dress??? :P Hope you can make it work. I hate when stuff I order online doesn't fit. I'd think eliminating salt might help and drinking lots of water.

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  2. Hahaha I can totally relate. Go do some exercise and lessen or no sodas at all. You can do it! ;)

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  3. Hey! Give us some warning when it's going to be a "Rooth after dark" post!!! :D

    Is 4 weeks not enough time to exchange the dress?

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  4. A true dilemma. On the day, you could host a pre-drinks do at your house and then you would have a number of hands to help you get that darn zipper up!!!???!
    I feel your pain though!

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  5. My answer has been Spanx-type contraptions. Of course, they also tend to make me grouchy, which is not conducive to a party.

    Speaking of which,I do love the theme of your office party. So I hope you can get in (and out) of your dress. Here's looking at you kid . . .

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  6. Yikes! This has actually happened to me before. Spanx! Stay away from salty foods as they tend to bloat you. Take the stairs! That's all I got ;)

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  7. Yes to Spanx. And sometimes those zipper things have nothing to do with diet and everything to do with construction of the dress. Good luck girlie. I vote for more horseback riding. You should probably call in sick a few days just to do that.

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  8. Oh no, that's too bad. I had the same problem in June. I bought a dress online, I tried a size in the store and it was too big so I ordered one size smaller online because they did not have it in the store anymore. I bought it for a wedding and did not bother to try it on....so the day before the wedding I tried and it was so tight I could barely breath. I needed help to even zip it! Good luck with yours! Maybe with some help it will be fine!

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  9. i know that panic that you refer too. if even for a split second i pull something over my head and feel "stuck" i feel like i want to turn into the hulk to rip it to shreds in order to get it off.

    i'd go with some spanks or take it to a tailor and have it let out a bit. if you can do the latter that would be the better option in my opinion as i like to breath freely ;)

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  10. oh dear. i hope the dress fits in time! i'm so happy that i'm skipping out on my husband's holiday party this year since we have a doggy guest! haha ;)

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  11. If the rest of the dress fits fine, the pesky zipper thing will eventually be ok in 4 weeks' time. I'm sure you can wear one of those spanx things to smoothen the area to zip up. Or, have a gal pal help you with it :)

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  12. Booo :( Just the words black tie fill me with dread because finding something appropriate is always a struggle. I can't imagine the feeling of also realizing it doesn't fit right. I've never used torso-type spanx, but it seems like a good suggestion!

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  13. Oh girl, I know that feeling all too well, and I second the Spanx suggestions - they work miracles!

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  14. I love how honest you are. I've had this moment in fitting rooms by myself... I did something stupid and tried on a too small dress, now I'm going to rip it trying to get out.
    ... Terrifying.

    7% Solution

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  15. oh no! I hope you made it into your dress!
    Spanxs often take off a couple of centimeters and help everything slides on and off better, so that might be enough. And if you feel bloated, try doing 3-5 days on a modified cleanse: green juice for breakfast, veggie soup and salad for lunch and lean protein and cooked veggies for dinner. Skipping carbs and dairy drinking lots for a few days usually does the trick; even my skeptical husband had to eat his words ;-)

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