Meeting failure
At some point during your life, be it in your career or personal life, you will be introduced to failure. It will look you dead in the eye in all of its snarky, bubbling sulfuric glory. Failure will baldly face you with how your hubris or ambivalence or even plain old uncontrollable fate got you to the point that you're currently at and dare you to flinch or look away from that ugly, ugly reality.
In making safer decisions, become complacent and taking less risks, you can try to avoid failure. In fact, most people will choose this course of action because, let's face it, failure sucks. If I wanted all of my mistakes and errors in judgment pointed out to me, I only need to look at my high school yearbook or talk to my mom (just kidding, love you mom (I didn't need to type that - she doesn't read my blog))*.
Wouldn't you think that failing at risk-taking would be much more glamorous and exciting? If I wanted to fail because of excessive risk, I would become a professional skier, move to New Zealand and buy a farm. But I'm talking about failure at a calculated risk, for example: taking on a new job, moving because of a significant other, going back to school.
Meeting that type of failure in a dark, dank alley that smells like cat piss and stale beer is a blow to the ego, to all of your efforts and to your struggle against 'the man' - 'the man' being the personification of whatever you're struggling against. It seems like fate is against you and may even be evidence that *gasp* you were wrong. Your opinion, judgment and assessment was unsound. Ouch, right?
Failure is hard to face - that's no lie. The question is, when the time comes (not if), what will you do? Will you make excuses to avoid it? Will you run away and hide under your covers, eating cookies and reading romance novels for the next few weeks? Or will you meet failure with a firm handshake, clap it on the back and buy it a drink? Because of failure, you will have seen the result of pushing yourself to the limit. You may decide to back down because of that meeting. Or you may also decide to forge ahead and see how far you can push yourself until you meet again.
Whatever your choice may be, don't be afraid to make that meeting with failure. Because nothing is uglier than hindsight and realizing that you missed an opportunity or a learning experience - even if it was an opportunity to fail.
Truth.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, really well written and interesting. I think it takes a long time for anybody to accept failure as a part of life and as something that generally happens when we've tried hard. Bottom line is, it's a kick in the teeth and nobody likes that. I certainly don't embrace it, but I'm starting to learn to take the positives from it. xo
ReplyDeletegreat post. I had to laugh... at some point in your life... I'd say it happens more often than that. but that's ok, too. failure is better than not trying. and things are never just what they seem to be at first glance anyway. what behaves and feels like failure now might, in hindsight, turn into the best thing that could have ever happened to you. I'm all for pushing further ahead (and feeling miserable a few times in the process, moaning, complaining, throwing a fit, but that's cool, too!))))
ReplyDeleteVery insightful post. I'm not afraid of failures but rather not meeting certain expectations placed on me by family. I hate disappointing them. But they are slowly understanding that they need to let me fall and pick myself up, go on crazy adventures and take risks.
ReplyDeleteThis is such an inspiring post for a tired Friday morning. You laid it out so well. ...and yes, I can dig a double parenthesis. I think I've needed those a time or two and never thought to use 'em.
ReplyDeleteI don't like admitting this, but I am the man. :D
ReplyDelete(Real comment later.)
Nice post. This reminds me of a quote by mickey Rooney: "You always pass failure on your way to success". It's tough, but I always try to think of failure as something of a lesson. Okay, now I know what NOT to do! Haha. In all seriousness though, I am terrified of failing. But I've failed before and I will again - it's just living. Onward we go!
ReplyDeleteLove this post, Rooth. I definitely agree with the whole "trying even if you fail" rather than always wondering what if?
ReplyDeleteAnd LOL on the Wallace comment:)
this post came at the perfect time- thanks!
ReplyDeletethe bit with your mom is so hilarious to me. i am a double parathesis advocate, so i say, bring em on.
ReplyDeleteah failure, my dear friend. i used to be terrified of it because it seemed to be the one thing i was good at - even when i wasn't trying. so then i was terrified when i wanted something to really really work, i'd avoid it, it would never happen. then i saw myself not "gettin' any younger" and i thought, this is lame, someday i am going to be 84 (i hope!) and i am going to be sitting around thinking, " i wonder if i coulda..." then i said screw failure because what is one more?! how about the deep pit of regret for not believing in myself or throwing caution to the wind? suddenly that sound much, much worse. now i look at it as i like to try, some things work and others don't.
Buying failure a drink, and bowing out gracefully is something akin to grinning through a date with someone who has no social skills--tough, but the right thing to do. As Churchill once said, "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."
ReplyDeleteWretched luck, anyway . . .
Well said, I mean, written, Rooth! I always love posts like this - the all out, smack down truth. Like you, I would rather fail at taking risks than fail at playing it safe. Because let's face it, we are all going to fail; It's part of life. So, let's fail at doing big things. "See failure as success."
ReplyDeletePS~I love asides. I'm a heavy user of them myself (that way you know what I'm really thinking).
I am very proud to say that all these new experiences that I've been personally taking aren't really perfect, didn't came out as how I imagined it would be, it's very imperfect... but I'm glad all these *failures* don't put me down fully. These failures are there to remind me that I can do better, that it is going to be okay and better the second time and more. :)
ReplyDeletei just learn for next time. fall 7 times, get up 8.
ReplyDeleteI tend to get a little indulgent in my misery every time I fail at something, haha, it's my dramatic streak. The one thing that helps me chug along though is the simple thought "This too shall pass." But not in the biblical or AA sense the way that term is usually espoused. I mean like, it will have to be tomorrow at some point, so your failure isn't permanent. It'll be gone at some point.
ReplyDeleteGreat post. All these years, the thought of failure makes me run away and I moved heaven and earth to avoid a date with "the man", instincts guided me all my life to be shielded and safe sacrificing my true self in the process. I finally came face to face with this dark creature when I took a risk to follow my heart this year and it was a tough ride. Facing it made me see my self. Who I really am..and when it gets too difficult, I bolt somewhere far to escape. :)
ReplyDeleteVery inspirational, Rooth. Sometimes, failure is inevitable for us to be led to success. Great post! Thanks for sharing! Happy weekend dear!
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Failure. Hmmm...I have failed at times. Lost money on stocks, had jobs abolished out from under me, missed a critical ground ball (in little league :). I routinely think I can do better, work harder, achieve better results. I've snapped a time or two (or 20). But I don't know if I've ever reached an end point in something and considered my effort a failure. It may just be a matter of definitions...or perhaps I'm not introspective enough. :)
ReplyDeleteIn NLP they say, there is no failure, only feedback. It all depends on how you look at your experience. And there are always alternative perspectives. I don't think failure is the end. Life goes on and every day you get the chance to turn 'failures' into successes.
ReplyDeleteLUXESSED
After a pity party, time to get up and dust yourself off. (but I can rarely skip the pity party)
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree. It's ok to be upset a little and give whatever emotion that comes up some room, no matter if it's tears or anger. I would let it all out.
ReplyDeleteAnd that I would pamper myself with some time and whatever feels right. Hiding under the blanket, going for a walk, buying myself some flowers or sitting down with a coffee just waiting for inspiration to come back. Doing some Yoga and meditation and then: Get up and over myself!
Back into life's adventures!
Failure sucks! But you're right, it's inevitable. The fear of failing has kept me from doing many, many things... some of which I even wondered if it was worth it - worth being afraid because I ended up losing more by being afraid than I actually would have had I failed (does that make sense?) *sigh*
ReplyDeleteIt still hurts though. And sometimes, you just don't want to go through that pain, especially because failure has a way of rocking your very core.
Failure is sometimes hard to face but I give myself a weekend or a day to wallow and then figure out why I failed and move on with the knowledge I have gained.
ReplyDeleteIt is nice to be reminded that it is good for me now and again. It keeps me out of the safe zone.
I'm a duvet/biscuits/romance novels kind of a gal... I can't resist a wallow. How are things going? Sounds a bit tough. On the bright side, you are working DFW! X
ReplyDeleteWe face failure a lot in our family. As you know, Cal faced it just last week, and as a scientist, it feels like Neel faces it ALL THE TIME. We've learned the best things, the real progress comes from not just the failing but what you learn from it and how you react to it. We weren't happy when Cal got his rejection letter last week, but seeing too many young adults go through life not experiencing failure and not knowing how to bounce back? Well, we're glad to know he's learning some important lessons.
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