When it's skin deep
 |
| Society6 |
Ever since I’ve moved to Dallas, my skin has been in a constant battle with my brain. It itches. It cracks. It dries up and flakes. I’ve gone from outraged to embarrassed to frustrated to resigned. I’ve tried at least four different types of moisturizer and it has taken me over two months for my body to adjust from the warm, wet towel of Houston weather to the arid climes of the New City. It’s annoying to say the least. But I scratch and slather in relative silence.
Because my sister has it worse. Siri was diagnosed with psoriasis her senior year of college. Although we’re not certain why it was triggered so late, we guess it may have been a reaction to the stresses of being on the NCAA rowing team, looming senior thesis and my grandfather’s passing. What we thought was originally an infected bug bite turned into big red patches all over her arms and legs.
My sister has never been one with confidence issues. She’s the one, out of the two of us, who wears a variety of different hats with swagger - the artist, the knitter, the boxer, the runner. She knows what she can and can’t do and doesn’t care about what others say. And she’s never been worried before, not even through the brutality of high school superficiality, of what she’s looked like.
But she does now. On the hottest of summer days, she covers her arms and legs. No shorts or tank tops for her. She worries about it spreading, especially to her face. And as a result, we worry about her. We don’t worry about what people will think when they see her ravaged skin. Instead, we worry about what she will think, of what they think. We worry about it hurting her confidence and sense of self.
Psoriasis runs in the family. After Siri was diagnosed, I’ve been to the dermatologist for it as well and we have both refused topical steroid treatment. Mine is in the < 1% range whereas hers is classified as mild to moderate. Even though the worst that it is for me is a minor bother and maybe more applications of coconut oil, I’m glad to do it and I’m not afraid of it getting worse. The skin we share allows me to step, for a second, into my sister’s shoes and gain some perspective into her life. She is not alone.
I have a friend with psoriasis and it seems very annoying at times for him, I think he got slightly better with some aloe vera cream though if I recall correctly. I hope it won´t damage her confidence, that would be sad - but with you at her side I´m sure she´ll feel the support.
ReplyDeleteHugs to Siri:( Ezcema runs in the family, and I may have a slight case of psoriasis on my scalp, which I've just been treating with a special shampoo. I can only imagine what she's going through. Has she tried some homeopathic stuff if she doesn't want the steroid creams? If she's not allergic, some of these herbal stuff may work for her.
ReplyDeleteI have something called livedo reticularis, that makes my legs blotchy when I'm even the least bit cold. I have a hard time getting excited about shorts season because its just exhausting to explain to anyone that notices. Seems like those warm summer months would be perfect for me, but those darn air conditioners everywhere always activate my insecurity. Anyway, I feel ya, Suri!! Everyone has something. ;)
ReplyDeleteBtw, don't google image search it... Mine is far less creepy than some of those extreme cases. (Thank goodness!)
ReplyDeleteoh psoriasis! my grandmother had it really bad on her elbows which would move up and down her arms. i get it very, very mildly on my elbows and my son luca gets is on his elbows too. but since we went gluten free i never get it. i don't think there is a direct scientifically proven link but i know for me after cutting gluten i don't get it anymore. i really feel for your sister it would be scary to not know how bad it may get and frustrating not knowing why people get it.
ReplyDeleteI have it mildly and it is very very annoying. My outbreaks usually happen in the dead of winter when it's cold and dry and during the drier summer months. And i think the triggers usually is stress and anxiety.
ReplyDeleteGlad your sis is so brave and can see past superficialiity in hs and in college. She's def not alone!
And I hope your skin gets better as well. You're dealing with the transition of your move, your new job and renovation on your home!
While I don't personally suffer from it, I have witnessed my sister-in-law struggle with psoriasis. She developed it after becoming pregnant with her first and it has stayed with her ever since. She uses topical and oral treatments, and it seems to flare up when she is stressed. While she was pregnant with her second, she tried to stay off all treatments for fear of what the medication might do to the baby and it nearly drove her crazy. Feeling for you all right now. Ugh!
ReplyDeleteIf coconut oil helps, you might also try shea butter. I think they do the same thing but in my mind shea butter is "stronger". I have no scientific basis to say it is stronger, but for me it helps super dry skin and gets rid of eczema if I use it 2-3 times a day.
ReplyDeleteIf you want, I can email you the link to an online place to get it but I'm sure Whole Foods or a hippie store will have it. Just make sure it's the pure stuff, not lotion with 1% of it.
I hope it's not causing her any pain--and that it recedes rather than spreads. Even if yours was 0%, Siri wouldn't be alone. Not with a sister like you, who would understand and empathize anyway.
ReplyDeleteI can't remember what I've read about psoriasis. Do medications that suppress the auto-immune system help? I imagine that would cause other issues. I'm rooting for Siri, in this and all things.
oh no. a good friend of mine has it. so i know how all encompassing it can be. good luck to the both of you xxx
ReplyDeleteOh that's terrible that she has to go through that heat that way. My husband developed it later in life too (in his case, almost certain it was brought on by stress).
ReplyDeleteSkin stuff, like obesity, are difficult travails. One wears one's vulnerability on the outside, yes? The support you provide each other is remarkable.
ReplyDeleteLauren @ still + life
So touching, Rooth. I'm panicking about developing psoriasis (unfounded), but it's comforting to know that there are kind people who won't judge others on something so insignificant. I'm proud of your sister for pushing through it, even if it means long sleeves. She's a trooper and she's got a great sister for support.
ReplyDeleteRooth, you are definitely a candidate for the world’s best sister. Unfortunately my family has their fair share of skin conditions too. My sister suffers from acute eczema, it’s so bad that she can’t walk barefoot or often has to take strong medication. It’s a constant presence and worry in her life. I am fortunate enough to have escaped the worst of it, only suffering from mild break-outs in periods of stress and long winters, but I also constantly have very dry skin. I have a lot of sympathy for anyone who suffers from skin conditions, it can be very debilitating (and often doctors just treat it as a minor ‘irritation’).
ReplyDeleteOh see this is why I've always wanted a sister. Skin conditions are so hard because they are so visible, and while most people don't notice them they do make you paranoid if you're the one who has to wear them day in day out. My freckles have started turning into the textured large splotches that both my parents have. I'm still in the phase of trying different creams and googling different options, but really I know the only thing that can be done is to sit back and let it happen.
ReplyDeleteThis was really beautiful to read. I have patches of bad skin (KP, mostly) but it doesn't really affect my life. I think you guys are both admirable.
ReplyDelete7% Solution
I think women all deal with skin issues, and most of us make a big deal out of nothing. But to really have a chronic thing like psoriasis must have its good and bad days. All the people I know who have it are men, so not sure how a woman deals with it. Interesting how it's brought you together, on some level. Have you seen the recent commercials on a new psoriasis medication? Why do you both refuse topical treatments, if I might ask?
ReplyDelete