So guess what.  We almost didn't go to the San Diego Zoo!  After all that talk, Frenchie actually changed his mind on Friday, partially to try and appease me.  I knew how badly he wanted to go though, so on a sunny Friday afternoon, we journeyed to the zoo.  We learned a great many things and not only about animals.  Actually, barely anything we learned was about animals.  Please enjoy the lessons below.  I know we did.

A. Parents will bring their 3-month old child to the zoo to look at animals.  I repeat, they will pay $40 each to get into the zoo and push a 50 lb stroller uphill for four hours so that their infant can enjoy "seeing" the animals

There's no lesson to be learned on this one.  Just a scenic gondola ride up to the top of the park.  Oh!  Ride to the top of the zoo so you can walk downhill back to the entrance.  Or be prepared to work those glutes / legs / hamstrings / etc.  And wear comfortable walking shoes

B. Zebras have huge heads.  Their heads are much larger than horses' heads, even though their bodies are much smaller, which makes them an awkward animal to look at for more than a glance.  You don't really notice and they're portrayed as proportionate animals but next time you get a chance, stare at a zebra and tell me that's not one big noggin

C. Pandas are lazy bastards.  They barely even have to reach for their food - it's stacked neatly right next to them by the zoo staff so they don't have to strain themselves reaching a paw.  We didn't get pictures of the other panda because it was a lazy, unsocial bastard and was sitting facing away from the crowd in order to eat his bamboo 

D. Kids are much more entertained by fake, inanimate objects than by real live animals.  Exhibit Elephant above.  Children were climbing and falling off all over this thing while the real one stood flapping its ears not 50 yards behind them.  I've also learned why they sell beers and margaritas at the zoo for double the price

E. The spray zone for a lion is 7 - 10 feet.  Spray meaning urine or liquid feces because it's pissed off that you're interrupting its 10th nap of the day (I made the liquid feces part up but it could be true)

F. That's actually not a dead llama (Or whatever.  See, I told you I didn't learn much about animals) behind Frenchie.  It's just that all animals look dead when they nap.  I'm surprised we didn't see more children pointing and crying but it's probably because they're climbing on the park benches and water fountains.  Don't mind Frenchie's forced smile.  He's having a good time, I promise

G. Getting groomed by a zoo keeper is relaxing.  Very relaxing.  The only time the kids were actually paying attention was right after this picture was snapped and the rhino's foot long relaxation extended itself.  There were lots of giggles and then "oh nos"  when it then laid down smack on top of it

H. We got a really cool picture of a gorilla.  The lady on the other side, unfortunately, only got a smear from its butt right before it urinated onto the glass 

I. Giraffes know when they've got a good thing going on.  The reason why it seems like there is no fence in front of them is because there was practically no fence in front of the giraffe exhibit.  The only hurdle preventing them from leaving is a essentially a tallish flowerbed.  Then again, if I got fed and cleaned up after and just napped all day, I wouldn't leave either

More San Diego pictures to come...