"So tell me what you want, what you really really want.

I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want."

And then I'll tell you that you can't really have it.

When I was a kid, I always thought that being a grown up meant that you could do what you want, when you want.  Then you find out that you can have everything that you want, just not all at once.  And then you learn that you may have to give up some of the things that you want, in order things that you want more.  Yes, that means prioritizing the things that you want and maybe the things that you've worked for your entire life.

When is it selfish to want what you want?  Is it important to give a little on things so that the people you love can have what they want?

Does compromising really result in everyone getting what they want or no one getting what they want?

And do the answers change if it's the big things in life?  Like getting married, having kids, having a career?


  1. These words fit me very well today. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, The Remembrall.

  2. Compromise can work...depends on the situation. But if it requires me to get with anyone's friends, I'm out--I pick my own friends! :)

    Real answer later, when my brain isn't all overheated and hurty.

  3. I guess compromising is getting at least a part of what you want. Better then nothing and sometimes that's a reality we have to accept.

  4. Hmm ... your post today has got me thinking.

    I've always wondered how people can have it all, or how they make it look so easy to have it all, especially when I struggle so much to have some of it all. I think then, it's a matter of defining what it "all" of it is, and how important it is to us to have it. After that, I think it's about prioritizing, and yes, compromising.

  5. I am learning that more than ever lately - life is all about compromise. I'm also learning that I really, really don't like compromise.

  6. I thought so too when I was a kid. I realized later that we have to sacrifice and compromise in order to gain something more leading towards what we value and prioritize. The question is how willing are we and how far do we go? Are we happy in this decision or it's against our core belief? This year,I'm about to make that cross-road decision too which will change our life in a major way.

  7. I have no a for your q but I think sometimes things just take some though and effort and you can come up with something that, while not the perfect solution your child self though would happen, could be acceptable all around.

    I think giving up on the little things isn't too bad as long as everyone can agree on it. Sometimes the little things don't matter as much, sometimes they do.

    Not really an answer but that is a hard one!

  8. I'm a believer in Destiny - and as such, I think life is designed in a way that we get only get what we want when we're meant to have it. And we don't get what we want when it's not meant for us. In this way I find that I often don't get what I want when, unbeknownst to me at the time, it may not be good for me (for reasons unclear but revealed later on)...

  9. I do not believe it's innately selfish when we want what we want. I believe we were put here for a reason; and those deep seeded passions--those things we want in life like no other--they help guide us.

    However, I also know that the road is rarely smooth and straight. There are potholes and detours.

    I think when it comes to compromise, it depends on the level of love involved--on both sides--and therefore the definition of 'compromise.' For some it means someone's always taking, and the other's always giving . . . I dare say that's not love at all.

    *Disclaimer: It's a little after 5 in the morning; I have yet to finish my first cup of coffee . . . you know, in case this comment makes no sense whatsoever! :)

  10. Wanting is a good thing. The problem is that the majority of people don't know what they want...


  11. Friends don't let friends have babies!

    Also, have you heard of A Practical Wedding? They're probably the most reasonable voice about marriage out there. Seriously. Read some of their stuff.

  12. I've always thought of compromising as more of being able to gain something than losing. When one gets older, the reality that getting what you want all the time is really not even to your benefit as you sometimes end up hurting someone you love. Compromise means not having to do that, so to me, that's a gain.
    Great post today, Rooth:)

  13. I'm a believer in you can have everything you want but not all at the same time.

  14. This is something I totally struggle with: am I being selfish or am I doing what's right for me? Am I being a good friend or am I getting walked on?

    Sometimes it helps me to imagine myself in the other person's situation, and see how I would feel or what I would expect. Sometimes I'm surprised by the answer and realize I was originally in the wrong!

  15. Material things are *easy* to deal with. If you know you can have it, and you want if, you can have it soon or sooner. But if it's the things that matter most in life: relationship, good health, friendship, having babies, and stuff like that, some are easy, some are not. You gotta work for it in order to have it. And you gotta work for it big time!


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