Q&A, part 2
Azra brought up a good point, that as much as I think I have a hand in all of this, I really don't have all the control. There are things that must be left up to fate / destiny / luck, whatever you call it. I'm also a bit nervous that thinking of myself in the short run, as Emmy mentioned, may not be the best move for me in the long run. Perhaps this calls for some strategic, long-term selfishery.*
In either case, I think it's a combination of both - blowing it all out of proportion and overestimating the actual hand I have in all of this (this = life). Things will happen as they happen. I will do the right thing or I will do the wrong thing and then have to fix my mistakes. The choices that I make are shaped by the choices of my past and will continue to shape the choices in my future. Somethings I'm sure I never thought I'd compromise on, I probably will. And vice versa. Life's a mercurial witch when she's blowing you around like this but at least you can't ever accuse her of being boring.
*Hooray new word!