Blowing a fuse

Joshua Bronaugh
"What's to blame for the recent dishevelment?" you may ask if you have seen me lately.  Or the spots that seem to keep migrating counterclockwise around my face?  Or the dark, saggy, panda eyes?  The death-like pallor that belies the hours upon hours in the barn or arena and the cuts on my hands and arms that never heal but increase in redness and raggedness.  Incessant hangnails and difficulty parting my hair in a straight line.  Can one truly blame diet, exercise, lack of sleep?  Can one shake one's fist at the hands on the clock as they continue to turn, turn, turn without any regard for the tasks of the day, all of the ones that we need to fit in before the new day rises?

I stare accusingly at my dead and silent blow dryer, cooling on the counter top, having breathed its final huff of warm air on Sunday night.  It finally fell to the futility of having to whip my wet hair around my face once more.  I place all of my blame in that faulty piece of equipment which forces me to sleep, wet head and all, shivering in the cold (no, it's not that warm in Texas yet) and makes me dream of seals and icebergs.  I give a peeved glance at my straightener, but it's really not its fault.  Its job is to straighten, not to dry or volumize.  Clunk! goes the blow dryer, into the garbage bin.  And into the trash goes all of my blame as well.

To an outside observer, the force with which I hurl it in may even suggest that I am the one who has blown the fuse.

Comments

  1. lol, I can so picture you doing that. thanks for the laugh :)

    xoxo

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  2. This made me laugh. But yeay new hairdryer!!

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  3. I hope the new one can blow cold, warm and hot @ at least two different speeds each. That way it can address 6 different moods. :)

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  4. Ha! I thought my blow drier died yesterday too! Thank the good lord it was only a blown fuse, and I live to dry another day!

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  5. Yes, well, it can't be helped . . . blowing a fuse when your hair dryer bites the dust. I mean really, it's so rude!

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  6. Awwww, this comparison sounds all too much like what I hear from my daughter. It seems when she is stressed, the volume of hair distress comments escalates. I would love to have her thick lush wavy hair that curls up when it's humid out. She sees it as frizzy and unstylish. This is that shoulder season when life just doesn't fit right at the moment. Hairdryers are never fun to go out there and purchase. When you go out to get a new one, treat yourself to a new book, or lip gloss, or something indulgent at the same time.

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  7. Heeehee....sounds like my typical day:D But yeah....Rooth, I feel for yah. (((hugs)))

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  8. I'm so happy someone else can fully appreciate the horribleness of a hair dryer breaking. I have lost it, fully, the last two times this has happened to me, as if the world were seriously ending. And I blow my hair dry in the morning, so people have to SEE ME for a full day of drowned-rat-edness. Oy. xo

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  9. Hence the reason I have a back up blow dryer just in case. I cannot deal with that!

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  10. Haha you really are the best! Thanks for sharing this, I love your writing so much!

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  11. I know this is funny (it made me chuckle), but somehow it's also touching. There are a lot of emotions hiding in the funny that aren't so light. But humor is always the best answer. You're such a wonderful writer. When will we ever see a book with your name on the cover (and not on the title....)?

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  12. Isn't it nice to have an appliance to blame? But seriously, a blow dryer that doesn't work -- no fun.

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  13. this same exact thing happened to me right as I was starting my new position back in Jan. Talk about frustrating. I totally feel your pain.

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