Ace Hotel NYC
What / who was it that bit me on the ankle at the Ace Hotel lobby and will I require shots because of it?  Should I be concerned if it's growing puffier and more red by the minute?  Am I going to turn into a werewolf/vampire and, if so, can it be soon?

Since when did all the men in NYC get the same damn hipster haircut and who's going to tell them that they all look like hipster clones with their identical Converses and thick rimmed glasses?

Ditto with women and Birkenstocks?

How many blocks can I walk into Times Square without wanting to self destruct / plow my way through the deluge of tourists using a shovel?  (Trick question - the answer is zero.  I will walk for blocks to get around it and never stay near this mess ever again.)

Will I ever be able to ride the subway without a) holding onto a germy subway car pole for balance and b) having hair that smells of subway for the rest of the day?

Honestly, are you watching the World Cup for the super prowess soccer skills or for the eye candy?  Promise I won't judge.