It's not your fault

Vikram Kushwah
"It's not your fault that someone is falling in love, while you're falling asleep" I was admonished, the other day.

But how does not one feel anything except for accountable for the emotions of others that we inadvertently cause, regardless of how drowsy we feel at the time?  The things one says before sleep should never be held up to the broad, bold examination of sunlight but kept in the haze-like state that it was muttered in, a peek of the truth filtering through the mists of dream but still shrouded.  The mystery, the romanticism is all lost under the unflinching gaze of day.  Or perhaps in our dreams, we should be apologizing for the pain that we will already begin to inflict.  Perhaps we already do, in black and white.

And oh that feeling of falling... asleep or in love, one and the same practically.  To me, it feels like I am most likely to fall in love right before falling asleep, in that very moment of helpless surrender right before one tumbles off into sleep.  Witless and wholeheartedly is how we should tumble into both of those states.  That we should sleep perchance to dream, of true, non-fairy tale love.  Of real people.  Of those who understand that a way to a woman's heart isn't through the pocketbook or poor spelling and grammatical errors.  How to woo me?  Just let me sleep.


Comments

  1. This is sounding a little fishy. Was alcohol involved??? :)
    It's not your fault...and yet you did it, so it's hard not to feel responsible. I understand. Once, after a few 100 hour work weeks, I dozed off while on the phone. When I jolted awake, I forgot who I was talking to--thought it wasted wife. I said "luv you". Then I heard an unexpected and very choked up voice saying it back to me. It was an older lady on my office. My brain exploded when I heard her voice--my brain was shouting "no, no, NO!!! But it was done. We were friends, but Zi was very relieved when she retired and moved to Florida a few years later.

    I assume that's just what happened to you. Right!!! lol

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  2. Darn autocorrect--"thought it was my wife". No one was wasted. Although, I was far beyond tired and headed for exhaustion.

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  3. "The things one says before sleep should never be held up to the broad, bold examination of sunlight..."...amen, Rooth! :D
    PS That comment by Ricademus just made LOL.

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  4. Ricademus made me LOL too. Neel and I have a good history of sleep talking to each other. Sporadic, priceless gems. When Cal was wee, Neel said to me "He's the invisible king!" Meaning Callum. Waahhh? I asked? "Because he's good at rugger..." was Neel's reply. And just last week, Neel got up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night and when he came back into our bedroom, I said, "You get up, take the picture and start the process all over again."

    :)

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  5. Haha, people definitely need to let me sleep as well. :) I always talk weird things before I fall asleep. And I don't remember the next day....

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  6. I HATE being bothered when I'm trying to fall asleep, it makes me so cranky.

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  7. No one, and I do mean no one, comes between me and my sleep. Even Mr. Oldman would have to learn, though I'm sure for him I could go without it, haha. xo

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  8. I apologize for being so literal, but the half-asleep state can be magical. It can result in the sweetest, softest kisses.

    I think I'm going to regret admitting that. It's not a very stoic German thing at all. :)

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  9. Oh I love sleep but it does not always come so easy to me being a chronic insomniac. And yes half-sleep is cool a good time time to get divine advice haha.

    Allie of ALLIE NYC
    allienyc.com

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  10. i do love that stage of falling asleep if you can make it last a bit. like when you take a cat nap on the couch and you are both awake and asleep at the same time. other than that i fall asleep so quickly it might be considered passing out. and sleeping is not so much my friend. i have had a trapped and shredded tendon in shoulder for years and i just haven't slept well for so long! but i still like the falling asleep part. that's the best.

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  11. PS - When I was a kid, my mom was much more likely to say yes to the big questions (May I go to Fred's house? Have a cookie? Use the stove to toast marshmallows?) when she was half asleep. :)

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  12. falling in love. falling out of love... falling asleep seems to be the better alternative. much better :)

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  13. love this! you write so well (':

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