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Learning (or not) to purge

Society6
The word minimalism has been thrown around a lot of late.  I'm not sure if people are still in the 2014 New Year's Resolution spirit but there's been lots of shedding.  Shedding of weight, of things, of burdens, of responsibilities, of obligations.  There's also been this overarching theme of things are bad and experiences are good.  I won't say I haven't been caught up in it and didn't systematically pore through my bookshelf this weekend and pick out a dozen books that I won't be revisiting or that should really belong on someone else's bookshelf.  I plan to also do the same with my closet when this darn winter weather quits and spring decides that it's going to finally get it's lazy behind out of bed.  But I feel as though I have to de-emphasize the impermanence and dismissal of things, particularly when there are so many pack rats near and dear to my heart.

*ahem* Siri *ahem*

Things for them represent memories, experiences, and people.  After my grandfather died, my dad found my sister's pink Beauty and the Beast backpack from when she was a toddler in the back of his closet that he had saved because it reminded him of her, maybe less of a Beauty and more of a Beast(ly) child.  Siri, in turn, has is old air force military uniform as well as magazine clippings that he had forgotten our house, decades ago.  I can't bring myself to throw out the scores of letters between myself and my cousin, dating back to almost 25 years ago.  I've kept them, envelopes and all, in stacks and stacks of shoe boxes.  I keep (and have kept) every greeting card that I receive from anyone ever.

So these are the things that matter.  Maybe less so than the latest shoes or nail polish that I've bought.  Or my ever-growing Amazon wishlist.  But things can be important, can be nice, can be what keeps those experiences with us.  It's okay to keep some things.  And perhaps what we have to learn is not to focus on minimization but instead on maximization.


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Comments

  1. KatrinThursday, February 06, 2014

    There are some things I just can't get rid of....like books, old greeting cards and letters, things that remind me of my mom or grandparents (love that your grandfather kept the backpack by the way) but I do want to donate some old clothes...

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  2. RicademusThursday, February 06, 2014

    Keeping items with an emotional connection is a nice, human thing to do (me). Buying junk just so you can say you have it can be a sickness (my wife). And keeping every scrap of useless crap because someday you might need it is definitely a sickness (my dad).

    But of course I am biased...we always think our own actions are okay.

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  3. AnonymousThursday, February 06, 2014

    everything in moderation, right? even minimalism. it doesn't mean you have to get rid of everything... I think it's important to reevaluate why and what we accumulate. mindless shopping to feel better or to keep up with others is at the root of a lot of our problems. xoxo

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  4. EmmylouThursday, February 06, 2014

    Hear hear. I'm as much of a hoarder when it comes to books, shoes and such, but I agree that parting with some is hard because of the memories. Maximization....I like that:)

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  5. LaurenThursday, February 06, 2014

    I agree with Petra. Everything in moderation. Things are nice, but I am working hard to avoid mindless impulse shopping and purchasing and to remember how scattered I feel when there's a ton of crap around.

    So here's my story on that. Many years ago my dad and I were estranged for various reasons for more than a year. We're very close and it was HARD. Cal was little and I was holding him when he reached up and grabbed a vase my dad had given me and pulled it off our fireplace mantle. Deep breath. I reminded myself that the Buddha teaches non-attachment to things, but my very next thought was "Screw the Buddha, I miss my dad."

    So yeah, things do matter. ;)

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  6. JaneThursday, February 06, 2014

    i definitely agree with you. my mom kept my old girl scout sash and vest from when i was a brownie and junior scout.. with all my pins and badges. it almost made me cry. yangkyu's mom kept all his awards he won in elementary school and we found them after going through her stuff after she passed... those things do really matter...

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  7. Christine D. | The Plumed NestThursday, February 06, 2014

    this is something that i grapple with. my mom has some hoarding tendencies so i live in fear of being the same. in the back of my mind, at all times, are the state of my closets, the clutter(!), i need to purge! i must be a minimalist!! but i have done this at times and i hate to think of some of the things i have gotten rid of. i also think if it weren't for the "keepers" as i like to call them there is so much of the past we wouldn't have, the museums would be empty. so i just try to keep it balanced and i allow totally my hoarding of books and some clothes. but anything like letters or of sentimental value, i just try to box up neatly and shove haphazardly in my closet ;)

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  8. ErinThursday, February 06, 2014

    In theory, I can understand the experience vs. things debate, but I'm not one of those people who can't assign memories to specific objects. Hence why I've been holding on to things for years because they remind me of certain, valuable moments in my life. As long as you're not saving a ripped trash bag because it was the bag you were holding when _____ happened, then I think you're okay ;) xo

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  9. ameliaFriday, February 07, 2014

    Like others I'm going to say ditto to Petra. Although, I might have a difficult time where books are concerned . . . I tend to think more is always better. :)

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  10. AlyxFriday, February 07, 2014

    I like this. I can totally get behind keeping "things" that have some sort of sentimental value, or that can be passed down the generations, but I am one of those people that really has no problem chucking out a bunch of "stuff." I think everyone is different, but I do think that it's important to really think about the things you're getting rid of before throwing them in the trash.

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  11. AnonymousSunday, February 09, 2014

    I'm guilty of my never ending wishlist on Amazon...all of it books.

    I'm actually not much of a packrat. The stuff I really love is in a single box in my closet. My husband however hates getting rid of stuff. Anytime I clean anything he has a mild panic attack that I've thrown something away. It's actually one of the few things we argue about.

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