If this house was a personal ad, it would read as follows:

"Traditional and stylish gentleman seeks fun-loving soul mate.  Enjoys hosting and entertaining large dinner parties as well as kicking back and lounging around watching television.  Me - Well groomed and not afraid to get in touch with my feminine side.  Can be a little bit blue at times.  You - Must love dogs.  Call 713-555-5555 and ask for George."