To be honest
I know the blogosphere is generally a happy and positive place and my life is as well. But life has its brutally honest moments and this is one of them. A trip to LA isn't glamorous for my family and it's not full of shopping in Hollywood or Disney. It's a chance to visit my grandmother the few times that we will be able to before she passes. Before her kidneys fail, her heart will. My cousin's a doctor and his diagnosis was confirmed by her physician. Each day is harder and harder for her and she's scared of letting go. Please don't feel bad for her though. She's surrounded by loved ones - my aunt, cousins, uncle and lots of friends - and still has enough spunk and sass to order all of us around. She has terrific doctors and access to some of the best medical treatment. Grandma is stubborn as a mule and continues to live life more or less according to her own terms. And at some point, as it will for everyone on earth, it'll end.
I don't mean to suggest that I know anything about death and I'm not presumptuous enough to pretend like I'll be ready for it when it's my time. But I know that if my life is even half of what my grandmother's has been, I'll count myself lucky to live out my final days among the birds and fruit trees in the backyard, surrounded by my family.
These stories are as important as the happy stories. More. Generally, people are glad to be part of the good times, but we need them more during life's brutally honest moments.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, eventually the bell will toll for each of us...and our family and friends won't be prepared for it, whether it's out of the blue or arrives with notice. There is no being prepared. But there is the happiness of seeing your two sweet granddaughters.
Welcome to SoCal! I wish you were here under happier circumstances. It's great that you're choosing to focus on the great life your grandmother has lived (is living) and her unyielding spunk. Enjoy this time with your family and grandmother, even though they all still think of you as the little girl on the pony. :)
ReplyDeleteI know your life is generally happy. but everyone experiences stories like that. it's what gives us perspective. and what grows character. ha, how cheesy. but true nevertheless. enjoy your time with your grandmother.
ReplyDeletesending you and your family love and strength. it's great that you get to spend time with your grandmother and that your family is there.
ReplyDeleteThough it's not an easy time, your grandmother sounds awesome and very lucky to have been able to live so long and to have everyone around her as she does. I hope she is able to order you around quite a few times more.
ReplyDeleteI never actually was able to meet my paternal grandparents and barely knew my maternal grandfather though I would have liked to so I consider you very lucky as well. Enjoy the rest of your visit!
What a beautiful time in life, be it goodbye. I am amazed by your ability to remain present. Wishing your family comfort and strength during this tough transition! Hugs.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I've found some of life's greatest moments--those filled with memories and unexpected bursts of laughter--may arrive amid tears.
ReplyDeleteSo I'll be thinking of you and your family--hope you enjoy your visit . . .
xoxo
(((((hugs)))))....Rooth, despite everything, it is great to read that your grandma has had a blessed life with a loving family, and life is full of little miracles that you never know....
ReplyDeleteThoughts and prayers for her.
Oh, Roothers, I'm so sorry. I think you have the right attitude though right now, and that is to just soak up all the love (and sass) that you can now and never take anything for granted. I wish nothing but good and peaceful things for your family. You seem like a very loving, close-knit bunch. xo
ReplyDeleteThis is such a beautiful way to look at coming to the end of a chapter, peaceful and happy for a good life lived - and yet it's hard for the ones left behind. I have a very similar situation with my Grandfather at the moment, and I know that it can be difficult to see someone like that who is not ready to go... but it helps when they're sassy about it ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm going to send you a photo tomorrow (it's on Adam's phone) of my Grandfather trying to act younger than he is, it'll make you laugh.
Sending you warm and fuzzy thoughts!xxx
it's so wonderful that you and your family visit your grandmother, i am sure it makes her whole world. if i live long enough to to see my grandchildren grown, well, that would be my greatest wish. i still have to get my little ones raised first though!
ReplyDeleteThis is just as beautiful as the wonderful happy posts because it's a little glimpse at your real life and what shapes you. Your grandma sounds like she's surrounded by people who love and care for her. I can't think of a better way to spend your golden years.
ReplyDeleteGood and meaningful post - I´m glad she´s ordering you around as you´re used to, shows that our minds are strong even when our bodies are failing. Enjoy your time together! :-)
ReplyDeleteSweet Roothers, I'm so glad you wrote this. I don't have brothers and sisters, but I had my grandparents. They lived far away, but we were close. I lost them all within the same year and it nearly did me in. I'm glad you're there. I'm so glad you're all there. Holding each and every one of you in the light.
ReplyDeleteThere are a lot of really beautiful, if bittersweet, things conveyed in this post. This time isn't easy, but I love the attitude you bring to both the bad and the good. It sounds like your grandmother is an amazing woman - and that you've inherited a fair dose of her spunk and sass. I hope her remaining time is as painfree as possible, and I hope you get to squeeze in every wonderful moment together as well as you can.
ReplyDeleteReally sorry to hear this, Rooth. But yes - the blogs are for the highs and the lows. No need to ever apologize for both.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and your family at this time, and so happy for you all to be together. Agree with other commenters that her spirit already seems to be alive and well in you, which is a pretty amazing gift. xxx
This actually made me tear up Rooth. My grandma is currently an a short term care facility because she just suffered a mild heart attack, something that has come in a string of recent health issues. It's hard but at the same time I know her life has been so good and I'm trying to enjoy the time I have left with her.
ReplyDeleteShooting you and your family and grandma good thoughts!
And I have to say, I appreciate when bloggers can get real, even if that sometimes means things aren't all puppies and rainbows.
My family is currently in a similar situation. But I think my grandmother is quite ready to go. It's super sad, but, at the same time (and much like you), I take comfort in knowing that she's lived a full life.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this Rooth.
Thanks for sharing this with us. I agree with your readers here that blogging isn't always about the sunshine; sometimes, it is about the rain and the clouds that come around too.
ReplyDeleteKeeping you and your family in my thoughts.
grandparents are the best and it's great to see that your grandmother is surrounded by so much love at a very difficult stage in her life. sending you and your family warm thoughts and a lots of strength. thanks for sharing this with us.
ReplyDeleteleyla.
Enjoy your time together. Live in the moment.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry :( she sounds like she's a fantastic lady and you are lucky to be loving on her right now.
ReplyDeleteYour grandmother sounds like a wonderful woman who has many, many people who love her. She must have lived a beautiful life and this post is beautiful amid its sadness. Thank you for sharing. Thinking of you and your family and sending hugs.
ReplyDeleteThere's absolutely nothing wrong with sharing things on your blog that might not always be cheerful - after all, life isn't always light and fun, and sometimes it's important to share the heavier moments.
ReplyDeleteYour grandmother sounds like a great woman and I know from experience how hard times like that can be. I hope you and your family manage to remember all the wonderful and positive moments and still enjoy some time together. Lots of Love xo
I'm really sorry to hear about your grandmother and I'm glad that you decided to share this tough time with your readers (aka blogosphere friends). I think that one of the best parts about blogging is the "we're in this world together" mentality shared by readers and writers that allows us to be honest and open about everything.
ReplyDeleteI am glad that your grandmother still has her wits and is surrounded by people who love her. She sounds very brave too. I trust that when we get older and closer to the inevitable, we have a sort of wisdom and peace about it, and it sounds like your grandmother does, which is so good.
This just reminds me of how much more often I need to call my grandparents who live in Houston.
I hope you've had a good weekend...
Hugs from Portland!
Oh, sweetheart, that final sentiment is such a beautiful one. Preparing to lose a loved one is hard, but it's wonderful you've had the time with her that you have had -- and that you still do have some time left. Sending you a big hug.
ReplyDeleteSuch a nice post. I send you hugs and strength.
ReplyDeleteIt not easy to prepare for yourself for loosing someone. It's great to hear though that she had a great life and is surrounded by family.
Oh, Rooth, I'm so sorry, and yes, it's important to share the good stuff and the bad stuff!
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