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Oh lord of super foods and juice cleanses, hear my cry!

Why, oh why, do quinoa, couscous and lentils taste like
Absolutely nothing?
They are the chameleons of the food world,
Always hiding amongst the bolder tasting.
Even if that 'bolder' tasting food is tomato or spinach.

How is it that eating raw foods
Makes my stomach rumble and growl
Almost immediately after the last bite?
And I go scrounging around for sugar, carbs.
Even candy bar wrappers look tasty.

And vegetarians who are also gluten-free,
Are you even alive???

Someone get this girl a sandwich!