This is a list of things that old people (still) do:
Buy bottles of Gatorade (G2 - none of that full fat stuff for the senior citizens), not to replenish electrolytes from working out but from heavy drinking.
Make first bad decision - order a Wimbledon sized bowl of rum punch for a birthday celebration on a Monday night.
(Shortly thereafter, personally reverse the first bad decision by claiming Designated Driver status)
Finish the bowl of alcohol by asking the birthday boy to drain the remnants.
Snap pictures of the birthday boy hoisting the finished bowl over head like a trophy whilst standing on a table, champion style.
Make second bad decision - leave first bar to go to second bar.
Come home and make "nachos," better known as Tortilla scoop chips and shredded cheddar cheese nuked in the microwave.
Wake up the next morning to socks / shoes / jackets strewn all over the apartment and plates encrusted with plasticky remnants of cheese.
Chug aforementioned six-pack of Gatorade.
Go to work, older but apparently not wiser.
Happy birthday my dear friend and you're welcome for not posting embarrassing pictures of you all over my blog.